Grandpa

I must let it out with my system or else I'll go crazy. Received a text from dad that my Lolo will be confine in the hospital tonight. Initial reaction of a lolo's girl like me is to cry (am actually crying right about now). What will you expect, ghetto feeling flowing all over me...

I love my lolo so much, and I can't afford to loose him right now. Argh,,, I can't think of words, PLEASE PRAY FOR MY LOLO :')

PPT

This is whatever. lol

I'm just psyched every time I do ppt presentation. It's just my third time to do it all my life. believe me. I graduated college blessed without doing any... amnatgoodatity'know.

(photo source: google)

unclear.

WARNING: This is random!


How I miss my good ol' friend.The "friend" where I can let my emotions out without the fear to be criticize... simply, cos' it can't talk like that. LOLJK. nuff with the non-sense intro.

I miss blogging, it's something that I took for granted in EONS. There's so much I should've blog about, from the day I started working on my first ever work experienced up to the life-wrecking decision that I made. TO SUM IT UP, there are so many things that I wanna breath-out my system but chose to hold-it for this long 'cos I can't find words how to say it. how to express it. maybe 'cos of exhaustion almost from everything.

Pictures stored in my internal HD, and words stuck in my head. when can I let it all out? perfectly? I don't know. Anxiety goes up every sunshine, ( I am a freshman, medStudent. just so you know where I'm getting all my anxiety, stress, depression and the like. it's no joke.... no joke) , feeling of hopelessness feeds me brekky, frustrations, pressures adds up to the bitterness of my morning. 


I'm quite proud of myself that I can able to control my bed epiphanies at this point in time, but then I realized that the "just woke-up" bed epiphanies is much worst that that. It's more of reality, Facing reality... whatever....


There's sooooo much things that I need to learn. and read! All but something new to me. No dissensitation at all, no gradual process. It's an "absorb it" or "not at all" thing that should happened in a snap. It's difficult, 'cos it doesn't ring a bell at all. 


I'm losing control of whats happening in my life right now, even writing on my planner has been a major task. I know they'll say that best thing happens unplanned. but this kind of "life" i chose should always be on plan or else.... it's like the domino effect, all else will fall and wrecked.

I never learned time management. That's what I'm paying for it right about now. It's hard if you're not sanay at all. but I just have too. It's part of the progress, my progress, for my better tomorrow.

I know God's with me, family and friends who's praying for me. My faith bent a bit forward at times when I lose it, this whole thing is driving me wildly insane. I'm trying to keep my life on track and hope that when I woke-up all my craziness, dilemmas and what not will fade with my dreams.

MedSchool is suicide. believe me. but it'll be worth it. I know. Someday, I'll read about this post with a sweet smile on my face. I'm excited for that day to come. just like when I rant about my upcoming NLE here two years ago, I'm already a nurse. :)

sweetlife. hugs!
okay, back to reality.