In need of a new header.
Inspiration, where are you?
12.29.2013
untitled
Uncertain about medschool.
There I said it.
Too denial with myself.
The thought of it makes me up for the past few nights of my vacation already.
It makes me go cray.
So many thoughts too process.
Is this what they say, the midlife crisis? or in my case, the "Med-life" crisis.
God help me
There I said it.
Too denial with myself.
The thought of it makes me up for the past few nights of my vacation already.
It makes me go cray.
So many thoughts too process.
Is this what they say, the midlife crisis? or in my case, the "Med-life" crisis.
God help me
12.05.2013
I miss you, We miss you
My dog, Suri passed away last december 2, 2013. We (me, 2 cousins, sister, parents) are all shocked about the news from her vet. It was really unexpected since the reason of her confinement (november 30, 2013) was just an upper respiratory tract infection, her lungs was clear, no crackles and all. Morning, the day of her death, her vet texted me that she was positive to Ehcliria. I'm not panicky and all, since I know she is on her way to recovery, I just asked what is all about and how to cure it, blahblahblah.
To fast-forward...
At four in the afternoon, my phone keeps on ringing. It's been a habit of mine to not answer calls from an unknown number. Three calls from unregistered number when finally it stopped. That's when I received a text, " ma'am sorry po, hindi na po kinaya ni suri. bumigay na po siya". I was the very first to be informed, I was very shocked, I couldn't believe it. I was just asking my mom earlier when will Suri be home. I can't answer right away, I lost words, for that minute I was desperately hoping for a text that it was just some joke or if there's a miracle to happened that Suri will wake up.I waited for a minute, And, then there's a ring, from the same number that was calling me a while ago. I wipe my tears that already flowed from my eyes and answer,
" hello", eager for an answer, " doc, ano pong nangyari? bakit siya namatay? diba nakadextrose naman siya? hindi ba siya lumakas doon?"
"ma'am, tumae na po siya ng dugo. Natulog lang po siya kanina tapos hindi na nagising. pakikuha nalang po siya dito".
I can't think of words, my minds' on columbus clouds, I have no energy to argue or to debate whether who's fault or to blame them on Suri's death. But, I can't stop thinking about it, my guts tell me it's there fault, my gosh, i need someone to blame! I can't loss my baby Suri just like that. I'm filled with so much emotions: anger, love, desperation, hope, etc.
She should be turning 6months this December 09, 2013. I had plans, but none of that would happen because of what happened. It saddened all of us that knows and play with Suri. She was very energetic there's never a dull moment, very malambing- she always wants to be tickled in her belly, vain- always looking herself on the mirror, alarm clock- always jumps on the bed every morning to wake up her ates. Oh, suri.
I'm having lump in my throat right now. I miss you so much baby. Kuya bucho is so tamad, always sleeping all day, all night but I know he misses you, too. He keeps on looking for you when he heard your bark on the video you two were playing months back.
Baby Suri, I can never look into your bright wide eyes again. I can never hear your annoying barks. I can never play with you again. No one will playbite my hair when I'm exercising and reenact what I'm doing during the stretching. Oh, baby... that thought of you doing what I am doing, twirling your head like what I'm doing made me smile, how I wish I captured that moment. I never thought it was the last. it was our last.
I miss you so much baby. No one can replace you.
Your mommy Blondie is preggy, by the way.
I will buy one of her pup, your siblings just so i will not miss you this much, it breaks my heart.
xoxo
ps:
Baby, your passing taught me 3 things
1. spend quality time with the ones you love
2. treasure every moment you are with them
3. take as much photos no matter how ugly it will be
To fast-forward...
At four in the afternoon, my phone keeps on ringing. It's been a habit of mine to not answer calls from an unknown number. Three calls from unregistered number when finally it stopped. That's when I received a text, " ma'am sorry po, hindi na po kinaya ni suri. bumigay na po siya". I was the very first to be informed, I was very shocked, I couldn't believe it. I was just asking my mom earlier when will Suri be home. I can't answer right away, I lost words, for that minute I was desperately hoping for a text that it was just some joke or if there's a miracle to happened that Suri will wake up.I waited for a minute, And, then there's a ring, from the same number that was calling me a while ago. I wipe my tears that already flowed from my eyes and answer,
" hello", eager for an answer, " doc, ano pong nangyari? bakit siya namatay? diba nakadextrose naman siya? hindi ba siya lumakas doon?"
"ma'am, tumae na po siya ng dugo. Natulog lang po siya kanina tapos hindi na nagising. pakikuha nalang po siya dito".
I can't think of words, my minds' on columbus clouds, I have no energy to argue or to debate whether who's fault or to blame them on Suri's death. But, I can't stop thinking about it, my guts tell me it's there fault, my gosh, i need someone to blame! I can't loss my baby Suri just like that. I'm filled with so much emotions: anger, love, desperation, hope, etc.
She should be turning 6months this December 09, 2013. I had plans, but none of that would happen because of what happened. It saddened all of us that knows and play with Suri. She was very energetic there's never a dull moment, very malambing- she always wants to be tickled in her belly, vain- always looking herself on the mirror, alarm clock- always jumps on the bed every morning to wake up her ates. Oh, suri.
I'm having lump in my throat right now. I miss you so much baby. Kuya bucho is so tamad, always sleeping all day, all night but I know he misses you, too. He keeps on looking for you when he heard your bark on the video you two were playing months back.
Baby Suri, I can never look into your bright wide eyes again. I can never hear your annoying barks. I can never play with you again. No one will playbite my hair when I'm exercising and reenact what I'm doing during the stretching. Oh, baby... that thought of you doing what I am doing, twirling your head like what I'm doing made me smile, how I wish I captured that moment. I never thought it was the last. it was our last.
I miss you so much baby. No one can replace you.
Your mommy Blondie is preggy, by the way.
I will buy one of her pup, your siblings just so i will not miss you this much, it breaks my heart.
xoxo
ps:
Baby, your passing taught me 3 things
1. spend quality time with the ones you love
2. treasure every moment you are with them
3. take as much photos no matter how ugly it will be
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