In need of a new header.
Inspiration, where are you?
12.29.2013
untitled
Uncertain about medschool.
There I said it.
Too denial with myself.
The thought of it makes me up for the past few nights of my vacation already.
It makes me go cray.
So many thoughts too process.
Is this what they say, the midlife crisis? or in my case, the "Med-life" crisis.
God help me
There I said it.
Too denial with myself.
The thought of it makes me up for the past few nights of my vacation already.
It makes me go cray.
So many thoughts too process.
Is this what they say, the midlife crisis? or in my case, the "Med-life" crisis.
God help me
12.05.2013
I miss you, We miss you
My dog, Suri passed away last december 2, 2013. We (me, 2 cousins, sister, parents) are all shocked about the news from her vet. It was really unexpected since the reason of her confinement (november 30, 2013) was just an upper respiratory tract infection, her lungs was clear, no crackles and all. Morning, the day of her death, her vet texted me that she was positive to Ehcliria. I'm not panicky and all, since I know she is on her way to recovery, I just asked what is all about and how to cure it, blahblahblah.
To fast-forward...
At four in the afternoon, my phone keeps on ringing. It's been a habit of mine to not answer calls from an unknown number. Three calls from unregistered number when finally it stopped. That's when I received a text, " ma'am sorry po, hindi na po kinaya ni suri. bumigay na po siya". I was the very first to be informed, I was very shocked, I couldn't believe it. I was just asking my mom earlier when will Suri be home. I can't answer right away, I lost words, for that minute I was desperately hoping for a text that it was just some joke or if there's a miracle to happened that Suri will wake up.I waited for a minute, And, then there's a ring, from the same number that was calling me a while ago. I wipe my tears that already flowed from my eyes and answer,
" hello", eager for an answer, " doc, ano pong nangyari? bakit siya namatay? diba nakadextrose naman siya? hindi ba siya lumakas doon?"
"ma'am, tumae na po siya ng dugo. Natulog lang po siya kanina tapos hindi na nagising. pakikuha nalang po siya dito".
I can't think of words, my minds' on columbus clouds, I have no energy to argue or to debate whether who's fault or to blame them on Suri's death. But, I can't stop thinking about it, my guts tell me it's there fault, my gosh, i need someone to blame! I can't loss my baby Suri just like that. I'm filled with so much emotions: anger, love, desperation, hope, etc.
She should be turning 6months this December 09, 2013. I had plans, but none of that would happen because of what happened. It saddened all of us that knows and play with Suri. She was very energetic there's never a dull moment, very malambing- she always wants to be tickled in her belly, vain- always looking herself on the mirror, alarm clock- always jumps on the bed every morning to wake up her ates. Oh, suri.
I'm having lump in my throat right now. I miss you so much baby. Kuya bucho is so tamad, always sleeping all day, all night but I know he misses you, too. He keeps on looking for you when he heard your bark on the video you two were playing months back.
Baby Suri, I can never look into your bright wide eyes again. I can never hear your annoying barks. I can never play with you again. No one will playbite my hair when I'm exercising and reenact what I'm doing during the stretching. Oh, baby... that thought of you doing what I am doing, twirling your head like what I'm doing made me smile, how I wish I captured that moment. I never thought it was the last. it was our last.
I miss you so much baby. No one can replace you.
Your mommy Blondie is preggy, by the way.
I will buy one of her pup, your siblings just so i will not miss you this much, it breaks my heart.
xoxo
ps:
Baby, your passing taught me 3 things
1. spend quality time with the ones you love
2. treasure every moment you are with them
3. take as much photos no matter how ugly it will be
To fast-forward...
At four in the afternoon, my phone keeps on ringing. It's been a habit of mine to not answer calls from an unknown number. Three calls from unregistered number when finally it stopped. That's when I received a text, " ma'am sorry po, hindi na po kinaya ni suri. bumigay na po siya". I was the very first to be informed, I was very shocked, I couldn't believe it. I was just asking my mom earlier when will Suri be home. I can't answer right away, I lost words, for that minute I was desperately hoping for a text that it was just some joke or if there's a miracle to happened that Suri will wake up.I waited for a minute, And, then there's a ring, from the same number that was calling me a while ago. I wipe my tears that already flowed from my eyes and answer,
" hello", eager for an answer, " doc, ano pong nangyari? bakit siya namatay? diba nakadextrose naman siya? hindi ba siya lumakas doon?"
"ma'am, tumae na po siya ng dugo. Natulog lang po siya kanina tapos hindi na nagising. pakikuha nalang po siya dito".
I can't think of words, my minds' on columbus clouds, I have no energy to argue or to debate whether who's fault or to blame them on Suri's death. But, I can't stop thinking about it, my guts tell me it's there fault, my gosh, i need someone to blame! I can't loss my baby Suri just like that. I'm filled with so much emotions: anger, love, desperation, hope, etc.
She should be turning 6months this December 09, 2013. I had plans, but none of that would happen because of what happened. It saddened all of us that knows and play with Suri. She was very energetic there's never a dull moment, very malambing- she always wants to be tickled in her belly, vain- always looking herself on the mirror, alarm clock- always jumps on the bed every morning to wake up her ates. Oh, suri.
I'm having lump in my throat right now. I miss you so much baby. Kuya bucho is so tamad, always sleeping all day, all night but I know he misses you, too. He keeps on looking for you when he heard your bark on the video you two were playing months back.
Baby Suri, I can never look into your bright wide eyes again. I can never hear your annoying barks. I can never play with you again. No one will playbite my hair when I'm exercising and reenact what I'm doing during the stretching. Oh, baby... that thought of you doing what I am doing, twirling your head like what I'm doing made me smile, how I wish I captured that moment. I never thought it was the last. it was our last.
I miss you so much baby. No one can replace you.
Your mommy Blondie is preggy, by the way.
I will buy one of her pup, your siblings just so i will not miss you this much, it breaks my heart.
xoxo
ps:
Baby, your passing taught me 3 things
1. spend quality time with the ones you love
2. treasure every moment you are with them
3. take as much photos no matter how ugly it will be
11.28.2013
Medicine (1)
Deep inside I know that I really wanna be a Doctor. I will not shed tears into something I hate from the very start. The sailing will be not as smooth as sailing into calm waters. but in the end, I know. I just know, it'll be all worth it.
11.27.2013
thoughts (1)
I heard from someone years back, that "signs" aren't come from God and therefore people should not be asking "signs". But, what if it's the only hope you can guarantee yourself whether the thing you're heading to is the right path?
I asked for signs, not specific, just random ones before I continue this journey. But, in the middle of it, things change continually, and don't know whether the answers given to me before are still applicable at the moment.
God help me.
I am in deep trouble.
xx
I asked for signs, not specific, just random ones before I continue this journey. But, in the middle of it, things change continually, and don't know whether the answers given to me before are still applicable at the moment.
God help me.
I am in deep trouble.
xx
11.21.2013
11.19.2013
He is
While I am in the middle of giving up-and-holding on scenario in my mind, this phrase suddenly appears in my facebook page, "God made you as a person of excellence. He is calling you to a higher standard so He can take you places you’ve never dreamed of".
Oh, the irony of life. It is hard to hold on when you feel like giving up and it is hard to give it up when you still want to hold on.
God help me.
xx.
Oh, the irony of life. It is hard to hold on when you feel like giving up and it is hard to give it up when you still want to hold on.
God help me.
xx.
source: Joel Osteen ministries FB
10.31.2013
Some bed epiphanies
I want a simple, uncomplicated life. And then I want growth. Do I make any sense?
10.30.2013
Self notes (4)
There comes a time when you just have reached the point. And, no matter what you do to bring back the spark, you just can't.
Lolo
Scenarios like this, makes me no regret why I chose nursing to be my profession.
TLC,wutt? That's what we do! :)
xx
10.29.2013
when the plate doens't fit, call a hole-man
My friend here was trying to help me install my plate. Unfortunately, the plate hole and the car hole doesn't match. Do I need to go to the nearest ford the following day to have it installed. so much hassle. but not to mention, I had fun that night, another reunion with my Bbabies- gotta love.
self notes (3)
" how long will you be hurting for you not to feel the hurt anymore?"
"how severe the pain should be until you've become numbed not to feel it anymore?"
"how severe the pain should be until you've become numbed not to feel it anymore?"
self notes (2)
I hate being uncertain in almost everything. my life, career, love, all of makes a human life worth living.
I feel happy, what about you?
Because truth be told, you're the only one who can make my stomach turn upside-down and turned my day into a little more bright.
 |
| you can't be mad, when you are this hahahapppyyyy :) |
some case of,
stomach meets butterflies,
and, wobbling legs. <3 p="">
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