This past few days, I am going through some roller coaster ride of emotions.
7.04.2014
why, people.
Some people are just good at pointing fingers.
What makes it more worst is that they are professionals.
They should know better.
What makes it more worst is that they are professionals.
They should know better.
4.16.2014
Yes, God winks.
Just got a good news, yday. I'm not giving all my hopes, but I'm praying for it to happen.
Who never dreamed of marrying, "Nickolas Gene Carter"?
 |
| My childhood crush just got married!!!! |
Me and my cuzzos Precious and Em-es making fool out of ourselves. Well, There is nothing new with that. This picture, however was taken on summer vacation 2001. We we're all giddy when Nick's showed up on the television screen during the "shape of my heart" music video on MTVasia, we literally rush in front of the screen and asked one of our cousins to take us a photo quickly while Nick is still singing. Still no iphone for taking a selfie, and digital camera is rare to find, we used the one with films.
Oh, my childhood. It is composed of candies, stationaries, toys and boy bands. And, the use of internet is mainly for chatting on MIRC and searching pictures of the backstreet boys, Aaron carter, Britney spears, A*teens and many more. Very far from the generation of today, if I have to compare.
I originally like AJ Mclean and Nick's younger bro, Aaron Carter. But with the influence of my cousin, I get to get agaw with Nick as well. hehe. bata eh. I've grown up listening to their music. And, news about them goes with that. Learning Nick is about to get married just wowed me, but left a lil' sting in my heart. echos lang. haha
to Nick (close lang kami): wishing you a happy married life. no more, do I have to cry for you moments. I am a fan and you are a deserving star.
memory lane is the longest road
Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up
You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on
Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up
You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up
Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on
Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up
Childhood, for the most of us, is one of the happiest moments in our lives.
4.08.2014
and then she sighs...
Before I enter first year medical school for the second time, I keep asking God to make me feel about the way I feel when I reviewed for nursing board exam for the second time last 2010. -- You know, the feeling of wanting something very bad you just can't give up no matter how hard the process just to attained it?-- But all I get was doubts, lots of it. whether to continue medical school or just quit because that's more easy than the latter. Throughout the school year, I was unconsciously searching, hoping for an inspiration to come -- the real ones, and no pretenses -- but as I lay my head on the pillow every night to sleep, I ended up with questions, " Is medical school really for me?", "should I keep on going?", "What if I fail again?".
This school year was sure fun, -- outing with medfriends as if there is no school next thing in the morning, pigging- out to distressed ourselves, cutting classes if the professor were no fun -- but I was blinded by it. All play and no work.
I relaxed. soo much, I admit. Nobody to blame but myself. I let the sugar-coated moments get through me. I should've controlled myself to indulge on things. but it happened.
I failed once more, but this time it's only Biochem. -- the three subjects are for remedials, and I'm praying for it to passed. -- Imagined, if I pushed myself hard enough I should've enjoying the price right about now. But that's life, it will make you fall again and again, harder and harder until you learned the lesson.
Second year, next year. I'm claiming it. It's hard to admit but, una-unahan nga lang yan, at the end of the day, we will all be Doctors.
I missed this feeling, the feeling that really comes from the heart and not some pinilit lang to make you feel "ay, seryoso na ako". . I may not cry physically, but deep inside me I know I've woke up from a dream. I am ready to face reality, no matter how deep it'll bites.
God bless me thru my journey.
I'm looking forward on reading this blog in the near future with an MD on my name and a smile on my face.
strawberryKrys
2.06.2014
Facebook moments
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10203044521617620
Wow, it's been five years since I joined facebook. How time flies by sooooo fast.
1.07.2014
wishlist (ver.2014)
First post for 2014!:)
This is going to be a yearly post. HAH
Last year, I was able to check-off 2 out of 5 in my wishlist (ver. 2013).
This is going to be a yearly post. HAH
Last year, I was able to check-off 2 out of 5 in my wishlist (ver. 2013).
12.29.2013
untitled
Uncertain about medschool.
There I said it.
Too denial with myself.
The thought of it makes me up for the past few nights of my vacation already.
It makes me go cray.
So many thoughts too process.
Is this what they say, the midlife crisis? or in my case, the "Med-life" crisis.
God help me
There I said it.
Too denial with myself.
The thought of it makes me up for the past few nights of my vacation already.
It makes me go cray.
So many thoughts too process.
Is this what they say, the midlife crisis? or in my case, the "Med-life" crisis.
God help me
12.05.2013
I miss you, We miss you
My dog, Suri passed away last december 2, 2013. We (me, 2 cousins, sister, parents) are all shocked about the news from her vet. It was really unexpected since the reason of her confinement (november 30, 2013) was just an upper respiratory tract infection, her lungs was clear, no crackles and all. Morning, the day of her death, her vet texted me that she was positive to Ehcliria. I'm not panicky and all, since I know she is on her way to recovery, I just asked what is all about and how to cure it, blahblahblah.
To fast-forward...
At four in the afternoon, my phone keeps on ringing. It's been a habit of mine to not answer calls from an unknown number. Three calls from unregistered number when finally it stopped. That's when I received a text, " ma'am sorry po, hindi na po kinaya ni suri. bumigay na po siya". I was the very first to be informed, I was very shocked, I couldn't believe it. I was just asking my mom earlier when will Suri be home. I can't answer right away, I lost words, for that minute I was desperately hoping for a text that it was just some joke or if there's a miracle to happened that Suri will wake up.I waited for a minute, And, then there's a ring, from the same number that was calling me a while ago. I wipe my tears that already flowed from my eyes and answer,
" hello", eager for an answer, " doc, ano pong nangyari? bakit siya namatay? diba nakadextrose naman siya? hindi ba siya lumakas doon?"
"ma'am, tumae na po siya ng dugo. Natulog lang po siya kanina tapos hindi na nagising. pakikuha nalang po siya dito".
I can't think of words, my minds' on columbus clouds, I have no energy to argue or to debate whether who's fault or to blame them on Suri's death. But, I can't stop thinking about it, my guts tell me it's there fault, my gosh, i need someone to blame! I can't loss my baby Suri just like that. I'm filled with so much emotions: anger, love, desperation, hope, etc.
She should be turning 6months this December 09, 2013. I had plans, but none of that would happen because of what happened. It saddened all of us that knows and play with Suri. She was very energetic there's never a dull moment, very malambing- she always wants to be tickled in her belly, vain- always looking herself on the mirror, alarm clock- always jumps on the bed every morning to wake up her ates. Oh, suri.
I'm having lump in my throat right now. I miss you so much baby. Kuya bucho is so tamad, always sleeping all day, all night but I know he misses you, too. He keeps on looking for you when he heard your bark on the video you two were playing months back.
Baby Suri, I can never look into your bright wide eyes again. I can never hear your annoying barks. I can never play with you again. No one will playbite my hair when I'm exercising and reenact what I'm doing during the stretching. Oh, baby... that thought of you doing what I am doing, twirling your head like what I'm doing made me smile, how I wish I captured that moment. I never thought it was the last. it was our last.
I miss you so much baby. No one can replace you.
Your mommy Blondie is preggy, by the way.
I will buy one of her pup, your siblings just so i will not miss you this much, it breaks my heart.
xoxo
ps:
Baby, your passing taught me 3 things
1. spend quality time with the ones you love
2. treasure every moment you are with them
3. take as much photos no matter how ugly it will be
To fast-forward...
At four in the afternoon, my phone keeps on ringing. It's been a habit of mine to not answer calls from an unknown number. Three calls from unregistered number when finally it stopped. That's when I received a text, " ma'am sorry po, hindi na po kinaya ni suri. bumigay na po siya". I was the very first to be informed, I was very shocked, I couldn't believe it. I was just asking my mom earlier when will Suri be home. I can't answer right away, I lost words, for that minute I was desperately hoping for a text that it was just some joke or if there's a miracle to happened that Suri will wake up.I waited for a minute, And, then there's a ring, from the same number that was calling me a while ago. I wipe my tears that already flowed from my eyes and answer,
" hello", eager for an answer, " doc, ano pong nangyari? bakit siya namatay? diba nakadextrose naman siya? hindi ba siya lumakas doon?"
"ma'am, tumae na po siya ng dugo. Natulog lang po siya kanina tapos hindi na nagising. pakikuha nalang po siya dito".
I can't think of words, my minds' on columbus clouds, I have no energy to argue or to debate whether who's fault or to blame them on Suri's death. But, I can't stop thinking about it, my guts tell me it's there fault, my gosh, i need someone to blame! I can't loss my baby Suri just like that. I'm filled with so much emotions: anger, love, desperation, hope, etc.
She should be turning 6months this December 09, 2013. I had plans, but none of that would happen because of what happened. It saddened all of us that knows and play with Suri. She was very energetic there's never a dull moment, very malambing- she always wants to be tickled in her belly, vain- always looking herself on the mirror, alarm clock- always jumps on the bed every morning to wake up her ates. Oh, suri.
I'm having lump in my throat right now. I miss you so much baby. Kuya bucho is so tamad, always sleeping all day, all night but I know he misses you, too. He keeps on looking for you when he heard your bark on the video you two were playing months back.
Baby Suri, I can never look into your bright wide eyes again. I can never hear your annoying barks. I can never play with you again. No one will playbite my hair when I'm exercising and reenact what I'm doing during the stretching. Oh, baby... that thought of you doing what I am doing, twirling your head like what I'm doing made me smile, how I wish I captured that moment. I never thought it was the last. it was our last.
I miss you so much baby. No one can replace you.
Your mommy Blondie is preggy, by the way.
I will buy one of her pup, your siblings just so i will not miss you this much, it breaks my heart.
xoxo
ps:
Baby, your passing taught me 3 things
1. spend quality time with the ones you love
2. treasure every moment you are with them
3. take as much photos no matter how ugly it will be
11.28.2013
Medicine (1)
Deep inside I know that I really wanna be a Doctor. I will not shed tears into something I hate from the very start. The sailing will be not as smooth as sailing into calm waters. but in the end, I know. I just know, it'll be all worth it.
11.27.2013
thoughts (1)
I heard from someone years back, that "signs" aren't come from God and therefore people should not be asking "signs". But, what if it's the only hope you can guarantee yourself whether the thing you're heading to is the right path?
I asked for signs, not specific, just random ones before I continue this journey. But, in the middle of it, things change continually, and don't know whether the answers given to me before are still applicable at the moment.
God help me.
I am in deep trouble.
xx
I asked for signs, not specific, just random ones before I continue this journey. But, in the middle of it, things change continually, and don't know whether the answers given to me before are still applicable at the moment.
God help me.
I am in deep trouble.
xx
11.21.2013
11.19.2013
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