playing pretend

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the Life you've always wanted".

When I was a little girl, I always play-pretend being a Teacher and a Doctor.I imagined my adult self teaching or healing people. At that young age, around four or five, I thought I knew what I really wanted when I to become when I grow-up.

Pre-teen years, I stopped playing pretend. I set aside the thought of me being a teacher or a doctor. I always admire my grandfather, he is a lawyer and one of the best in his profession, so I told myself that I wanna be a lawyer just like him. I was sure then with my decision to take up accountancy-law. 

Highschool graduation, still sure. I was about to take up entrance exam in accountancy when my grandfather told me to take-up nursing instead. He said, " mag-accountancy ka? maraming accounting ang walang trabaho. buti sana kung mag-lalaw ka, eh hindi mo naman kaya."  At that moment, my vision of future become a blurry. I know my grandfather meant no harm and just want the best for his grandchildren, I didn't take his words negatively instead I used it as my motivation surviving college- giving up the course you were sure of or so yo thought for so many years and taking the course that had been decided for you are not easy.

I passed the nursing board exam, still weren't sure about my future. I never thought of pursuing medicine until I was about to enter the Philippine police- this I know I don't want.

Now, I am taking Medicine, sometimes the path become blurry but I am sure that stopping this may give me regrets for the rest of my life. There's one more thing I am sure about- to be an interior and furniture designer. But I am not making it a priority, not until i finished medicine. Believe me, it's the one thing I always think about when I am about to shut my eyes aside from stopping medicine. 

struggle,

struggle.