moderate anxiety

To be a doctor was my childhood dream. A dream that never come to mind I would pursue. All that was happened, happening and will happen: NMAT review, NMAT exam, not pursuing the copjob thing, bummerments are, but a product of my snap decision, realization and whatnot. 

photo source: weheartit

I clearly remember, when I was still in my sophomore year that Iem' all excited to graduate and work abroad. A typical mindset of a nursing student. But, as time goes by, as I didn't notice that Iem' starting to enjoy my college life that I wished it would last longer than four-years.

Mixed emotions I feel when the school President handed me my diploma. Happy 'cos the sufferings intended for a student already has its booming fruits, but not to mention the upcoming review for the nursing licensure exam. much more suffering is needed. And, Sad 'cos firstly, I'll be separated with my friends and classmates with whom I spent my everyday with for the last four-years of my college life, secondly, IDK what life awaits me as I enter the more mature part of life. I realized that, Life is not all play. 

five months and counting, as I graduated from college. still no work. How Iem' dreading myself to have work before, and now, when all the opportunities are around, I get stuck and feel lost. 

fast forward,

two years of my life in a bummer mode is such a waste of time. I mean, too many things should've been done in that span of time. But then, in some of my bed epiphanies, where certain life decisions and whatnot happened, that I think its not a waste at all. 'cos during those times that I discovered more of a positive side of myself that I believe wouldn't be possible if I study medicine right after I jumped out of college. yes, its too much realization and sometimes it still overwhelms me. 

Iem' fully decided to pursue medicine next year that is why I'm dying myself to understand mathematics/chemistry/physics and other sciences needed for the exam which is very very hard since I took those up six years ago. MEH.

I know myself, I never been this dedicated, panic and sure all my life except the NLE review days, its too different, its a life changing experienced. That's all my positivity gained back and refresh. where work and play and pray all balanced. It been my basic foundation for the upcoming difficulties I may encounter.

About the exams, 

University of the East Medschool topping my list which is why Iem' aiming for atleast 65% total average score on NMAT. seconded by San Beda medschool.  IDK if I can make it but God willing it will.

hearttalk,

Iem' considering San Beda Med school because of the lesser adjustment I'll make since I studied my pre-med in the institution. UE had me for a practical reason that it is at top 3 medical school in the Philippines. Iem' kind of confused. HHAAALLLLPPPPP!